jdanatrent.com

Dear Friends:

Thank you for taking time to read Trouver Ma Voie. For simplicity's sake, I'm now blogging on jdanatrent.com, where you can find both my blog and freelance Web site. Please join me there--I look forward to continuing the journey with you.

Finding my way,

J. Dana Trent

10 Reasons to Visit Vrindavan, India

Though I haven't visited Vrindavan yet, I can think of 10 glorious reasons to go, in random order:

1. It's a different world (so I've been told).
2. Wonderful, vegetarian food.
3. Marketplaces filled with goodies that make women giddy (e.g., colorful clothes, jewelry, handmade goods).
4. Nearly two weeks of living in an ashram (temple/church) with daily routines of prayer, worship, and meditation.
5. Riding/surviving rickshaw rides.
6. Temples on every corner (there's nearly 5,000 in Vrindavan) much like the shopping on every corner we have in America.
7. Visiting the nonprofit organization Food for Life and seeing a completely different side of life (extreme poverty, lack of opportunities and education).
8. The monkeys. Need I say more?
9. No cell phone and no computer (save for the brief visits to the Internet cafe).
10. The experience of a lifetime!


Most of all, Vrindavan is a spiritual oasis poised for sharing its warmth with weary pilgrims:

• "O friend, please control your mind and senses and go and live in Vrndavana, which is a mine of nectar, and which is so glorious that even millions of books by the greatest poets and philosophers cannot describe a single ray of light from the host of the jewels of its virtues."
• "May faultless Vrndavana, which transforms sinners into saints, protect me ... and dry up the multitude of my terrible sins.

from Sri Vrndavana Mahimamrta, Sataka One, 35 and 39 

Traveling to India may not be feasible for everyone, so where do you go when you need (mental, physical, and/or spiritual) renewal?

Photo Credit: Kusuma Sarovar Ghat 

Articles to Inspire

Lately I've been submerging myself in motivational articles and blogs.

I'm sufficiently addicted--thanks to my husband--who sends me a few links each day.

Here are some to share, all in one place, so you don't have to go Googling about to begin your own motivational journey. Simply start here:

Leo Babauta's Zen Habits
Deepak Chopra via the Huffington Post
Copyblogger
Dr. Edward Hallowell via the Harvard Business Review Blog
Lifehack
Write to Done

What are some of your favorites that I've missed? Please share--and spread inspiration!

Nota bene: This list is certainly not exhaustive--and of course I've included a few writing blogs for good measure (e.g., Copyblogger and Write to Done). I am, after all, a so-called writer.

Photo Credit: "Dreaming of the Perfect Sunrise," by Gareth Weeks

God's Acre Posts

Dearest Reader:

I've imported posts from God's Acre, the blog I began in 2008, to Trouver Ma Voie. You can find them in the blog archive listed under posts from 2008 and 2009. Thanks for sharing the journey with me. Enjoy!

Yours,
J. Dana Trent

TV-Free Life

Welcome to Thanksgiving.

This is the day when Americans watch endless football, eat far too much, and (if you're extremely blessed they way Fred and I are) enjoy the company of precious family and friends.

I spent my first Thanksgiving holiday as a married person with my in-laws, whom I love dearly. Fred and I traveled to their home early this morning to begin our day of cooking, playing, reading, lazing, talking, piddling, and ... TV watching.

Did I mention TV watching? Because I've been living a TV-free life for just over four months, the mere presence of a muted TV bewitches me. I was enthralled  my in-laws' TV all day. Really. All day.

After many weeks of life without the box of constant news, commercials, chatter, and over-stimulation, here are a few tidbits I observed from today's variety:

1. "Miracle on 34th Street." Classic. Elegant.
2. Football--actually enjoyable. Colorful, Even entertaining. Good commercials. It helps that I heard a useful radio round-up on the games during the car ride to my in-laws, so I sort of felt as if I knew what I was getting into.
3. National Dog Show. So enjoyable to watch with my mother-in-law and her three precious pups.
4. The movie "Break Up," a funny, yet depressing relationship story with (life imitates art couple) Vince Vaughn and Jennifer Aniston.
5. NBC's People of the Year 2010. Kim Kardashian endlessly doting on her "brand" to Matt Lauer was over the top. The lovely Susan Boyle Memoriam segment made up for it.
6. The Travel Channel's latest "Man v. Food" challenge: six pounds of seven different meats and a pound-and-a-half of fries at a crowded joint in Kansas City. While entertaining, I couldn't help but think of WUNC's recent story on North Carolina's food banks and the number of food insecure households in America.

It was a lovely day, but it's time to go back to my TV-free life.

Oh, and we also don't own a microwave. But, that's for another post

What do you love about TV? What frustrates you about TV?

Top Ten Reasons You Should Stop Watching TV

India

How does one prepare for a spiritual pilgrimage to India?

I’m supposed to be writing about India—and all I can think of is how I don’t know what to write and therefore I couldn't possibly write one blog post, let alone an entire book about my journey to India. I feel stuck.

How does one prepare for the supposed life-changing experience that is India? Better yet, how does one put it to words? And how does an ordained Southern Baptist minister find herself married to a Hindu from rural North Carolina and traveling the 7,732 miles to a strange world for her honeymoon?

If you’re me, you start with a list (or two of them):

Fears:

• The dreaded plane ride (Ugh)
• Getting sick (Dehli Belly and the like)
• The smells (I’ve been warned)

Can’t-Waits:

• Quiet time for prayer, meditation, and writing
• Bright colors
• Children, monkeys, and cows
• Deities and a religious world I’ve hardly experienced

 So, here I am, nearly one month away from seeing life so differently and praying for the grace to write about it.

Perfectionism

Ever wonder why I don't post as frequently as I should? Check out all the Trouver Ma Voie posts still in draft form.

That's right. Perfectionism is a writer's (or blogger's) worst enemy.

Screen shot from the Trouver Ma Voie posting tab.

Grief

My father was a King.

His dominion was nestled along the westernmost border of Indiana, stretching from Dana to Clinton and finally St. Bernice, communities unknown to most of us, but the cherished home to many grounded, strong folks like my father.

It will soon be four months since his death on Wednesday, June 16, 2010. Daddy died one month before my wedding--a circumstance that has made my grief process awkward and clouded.

I'm still receiving e-mails regarding my father's legendary impact on others. Most senders have a special memory of him and express their appreciation that his tombstone fittingly reads "King" Richard J. Lewman, Jr.

I'd have it no other way.

Photo credit: J.D. Phillips

You're Already Perfect

"You're Already Perfect"
By Leo Babauta, Zen Habits
Consider what changes when you say this to yourself:
"You’re already good enough, you already have more than enough, and you’re already perfect."

• You no longer feel dissatisfied with yourself or your life.
• You no longer spend so much time and energy wanting to change and trying to change.
• You no longer compare yourself to other people, and wish you were better.
• You can be happy, all the time, no matter what happens in the world around you.
• Instead of trying to improve yourself, you can spend your time helping others.
• You stop spending so much money on things that will supposedly improve your life.

As we're finding our way(s), let's all take time to breathe and repeat:
"I am good enough, I have more than enough, and I'm already perfect."

29 Lessons in 29 Years

Does someone under the age of 50 actually have have life lessons to share?
Ryan Freitas thinks so. I do too. Here are some of my 29 in 29 years, in random order:

• Always be willing to have sincere, engaging conversations with others who have very differing views from you (e.g., religious, political, financial, cultural, etc). Open, open, open yourself. You'll grow and hopefully they will too.
• Study a language of your choice, not for any practical purposes or because it is a educational requirement. Greek anyone?
• Engage often in free writing exercises and do NOT edit your writing during the process. After you write, put it away for a bit. Then, when you're ready, come back to it and be your own favorite editor.
• Attend a same-sex educational institution--even if only for a semester or night class. You'll have the thrill of what it's like to learn with your own gender (liberating!) sans distractions.
• Visit the midwest in height of summer. Soak in the beauty of landscape and thank a farmer for growing your food.
• Write newsy, handwritten notes to family and friends as often as you can. Everyone loves getting snail mail.
• Take up freelancing. It's a boost to whatever skills you're fine-tuning and can lead to excellent opportunities.
• Do a few housechores each day, preferrably in the morning before work or school. That way, when you come home, things are tidy and you can relax and enjoy family, roomates, or time alone.
• Don't be afraid to travel, even if you don't have a travel buddy.
• Experience a variety of unpaid internships. You'll meet fantastic professionals and learn more than you can imagine.
• Update your resume frequently for no reason at all. It will keep you motivated toward your goals and remind you of what you've accomplished.
• Do manual labor for a good cause (e.g., Habitat for Humanity, religious mission trips, community service agencies, or just a neighbor who needs assistance). It feels so good to sweat your way toward making a difference.
• Encourage others to tell you their story and listen, listen, listen.
• Adopt a cat, dog, or another fuzzy animal and snuggle with them far more than you think you should.
• Smile at children. Always.
• Even if you have no artistic talents, make homemade cards. People love receiving them.
• Forgive yourself. Repeatedly.
• Don't let anyone tell you that piddling is a waste of time. It's what fantastic (and productive) days are made of. 
• Go to county fairs, state fairs, community and school festivals. Eat the food and enjoy the people.
• If you're left-handed, keep your own pair of left-handed scissors, use good pens, and learn Hebrew (you won't smudge your own writing). If you're right-handed, be considerate of those who aren't.
• When you shop for clothes at thrift stores, look at the labels. Not because you are a brand snob--but because most name brands are well made and will last longer (even if they are secondhand).
• Write poetry. Even if it doesn't rhyme. Even if it's dreadful.
• Take the time you need to grieve any losses.
• Don't be afraid to tell others that you are writer. Even if they give you "the look" (you know which look I'm referring to).
• When you can't sleep, get up to read, type an e-mail, blog, and enjoy the silence that the sleeping world has to offer.
• One year, keep your Christmas tree (or holiday decor) up until Valentine's Day. Or Easter. Or Fourth of July. Just for fun.
• Eat popcorn for dinner.
• Read classics in literature. There's a reason their called classics.
• Each time you hear a siren (ambulance, firetruck), say a prayer and/or send positive energy toward the person(s) receiving assistance. If you or someone you know has ever been in an emergency situation, you know how important this can be.

For addtional lifehacks with a philosophical spin, visit Vichara.

Passport

There's something so liberating about having one's own (freshly renewed) passport. Even with no money and no destination--you can slip it into your pocket, lounge in your favorite chair, and dream of your future adventures.

Windows

There is a man outside my tenth floor office washing windows. I stop what I’m writing to stare. Surely he’s accustomed to rude people like me who are fascinated by his work? I’m relieved when he waves. I eagerly wave back.

He jumps off his window-washing swing (a slab of wood covered in carpet like the one I used when I was a child) and walks the pebbled building ledge. His playground swing is secured to two thick cables with a green canvas belt (sort of like the army kind). He’s wearing the same army green belt as a harness attached to another, more stabilizing cable.

He travels the ledge quickly, swirling his brush with finesse and finishing each window with the squeal of his squeegee. He doesn't seem to mind my obnoxious gape.

When he completes the three windows outside my office, he stands at the stone edge and looks down (with no shaking hands or hesitancy), seemingly planning his next move with a colleague. He turns quickly and faces my office, mounting his swing. Snapping on his bucket and tools, he offers another kind wave, and disappears.

After he's gone I can still see his ropes moving gently. 

The Period of PURPLE Crying

Several years ago, while serving as a hospital chaplain, I baptized a dying infant who was the victim of shaken baby syndrome.

The circumstances surrounding the child's death were sad and traumatic; what's more devastating is that it could have been prevented had the parents known about a developmental stage in a baby's life when they cry more than any other time. 

That's why I'm heading to Charlotte's WBTV tomorrow to share my story about the Period of PURPLE Crying: Keeping Babies Safe in North Carolina. Tune in and share the Web site with every parent and caregiver you know. We can all prevent shaken baby syndrome.

Comment Trouver Sa Voie?

Sometime before dawn, I had a nightmare about this blog.

It was my recurring nightmare in which I am forced to return to whatever stage of education I previously endured in order to complete a course (and life lesson?) I did not finish. This morning I traveled to my advanced French conversation class at Reidsville High School taught by Ms. Patterson, a lovely British exchange teacher who visited our school circa 1998.

My return to Ms. Patterson's classroom was likely related to the ridiculous hour of stress I put my dear husband through as I checked (and double checked) the verb conjugation and syntax for this blog title. I'm embarrassed that three seemingly small French words set off my anxiety-ridden perfectionist habits.

So it's fitting that Trouver Ma Voie is about navigating my own (sometimes anxious) way in a culture where many of us strive for perfection.